There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
