I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
