You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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