I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
