this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
