I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
