I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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