So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
