Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
