I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
