Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
