She's JV to your varsity
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
