i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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