May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
