why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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