I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
