Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
