Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
