After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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