Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
