I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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