I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
