she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
