So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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