I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize