I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she peed on how many people?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
