Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
