I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
