At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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