Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
