Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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