it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
