please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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