bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
