she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize