Tell her she can't have a vagina
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
