That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
