I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Alive.
So much puke
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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