His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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