Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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