Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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