he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
