Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize