If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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