Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize