So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I need moral support for this bender
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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