This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just pee around me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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