If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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