I'm lost and stupid without you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize