Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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