we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it glows. i had to have it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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