Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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