he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
