Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
