he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
