just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
