I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
