I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
