she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
