she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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