My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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