im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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