I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
