Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize