Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
